I'm not ashamed - I went to the midnight premiere of Magic Mike last night. Since Pedro and I are leaving Little Rock next week, it was our "last midnight adventure" even though Kris couldn't come due to early obligations this morning, and Liz is out of town until Sunday. Nevertheless, Pedro and I decided to go anyway, because, well, it was "The Expendables, except with eye candy instead of action stars". And the movie did not disappoint - plenty of bare chests, man-thongs, a d**k pump, and even the literal shadow of full frontal nudity.
We went with the assumption that there would not be very many people at the theater. Obviously there would be a few, but this wasn't a nerd movie, nor a known franchise; it didn't have any pull for a traditional midnight premiere audience. That part, at least, was right. The auditorium was surprisingly packed (our row was full except for the chairs on our immediate sides) but not with the traditional midnight premiere audience. It was full of...how to put this kindly...preppy girls, most of whom probably played some sort of sport, like softball or lacrosse. Of course, there were exceptions, but the majority of girls I saw had sweatpants, a messy bun, and a headband - you know the type I'm talking about. There was also an awesome number of housewife/soccer mom groups clearly having a Lady's Night Out - that was kind of fantastic. Pedro and I played a game called "Gay or Amazing Boyfriend?" where we labeled the fifteen guys who walked into the auditorium; we had a lot of fun with that one, because there was never a "Neither".
As if all of that wasn't bad enough, we really realized this was a different type of audience when the previews started. House At The End of the Street was featured and, having seen that preview twice already, I suddenly became extremely interested in my popcorn. Unfortunately, I could still tell when there was going to be a startling moment, because I could hear the changes in the music...no matter how innovative horror movies try to be, the music will always tell you if you're about to jump. But apparently this audience didn't know that, because they screamed. Twice. And that was only HATES - there was a preview for The Apparition in which they screamed at least once. Now, I'm not a fan of real-world horror movies (like HATES, in which a little girl kills her parents and then hunts Jennifer Lawrence) but it's only a preview; even if I jump, it's not scream-worthy.
Last night confirmed what I already knew - I am damn proud to be a Nerd, and I have absolutely no desire to be a prep. Ever.
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