Saturday, January 28, 2012
Feedback?
Sorry I haven't posted in a while - work is a little crazy. But I was serious in my last post - I want some feedback from you guys! What sparks your interest? What's your favorite topic? If I don't know anything about it, I will look it up, and then I will be better informed, and maybe we can have a shared love of something! So comment on either this post or the last one (Long Overdue) and give me some feedback!!
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Long Overdue
Wow, I haven't posted in a while. Sorry about that! My apartment lost internet for a few days, and then I had a busy weekend at work, so I took a day trip out of the city today (Monday). I should actually be going to sleep so that I'm ready for work tomorrow, but I felt bad that I hadn't posted since Wednesday.
Anyway, Pedro introduced me to a new store today, Hastings. I don't know how popular it is (in other words, I have no idea how late to the game I am), but I am going to have to find a reason to make the 45 minute trip more often; it was a bookstore, a comic book store, a dvd store, and a music store ALL IN ONE. I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Absolutely fantastic - I have definitely found a new favorite store of all time. Then, once Pedro and I had gotten back from the day trip, our group decided to go to dinner and a movie. When we finished dinner, we still had about an hour and a half to kill before Haywire started, so Kris, Pedro, Pedro's roommate Spence and I decided to go to Target. WHERE I FOUND $9 BOBBLEHEADS!!!
Anyway, Pedro introduced me to a new store today, Hastings. I don't know how popular it is (in other words, I have no idea how late to the game I am), but I am going to have to find a reason to make the 45 minute trip more often; it was a bookstore, a comic book store, a dvd store, and a music store ALL IN ONE. I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Absolutely fantastic - I have definitely found a new favorite store of all time. Then, once Pedro and I had gotten back from the day trip, our group decided to go to dinner and a movie. When we finished dinner, we still had about an hour and a half to kill before Haywire started, so Kris, Pedro, Pedro's roommate Spence and I decided to go to Target. WHERE I FOUND $9 BOBBLEHEADS!!!
I am so excited - this one will be living on the windowsill in my room. I think I have developed a problem, because I definitely plan on collecting many more - they are just too stinkin' cute!
After Target we went to see Haywire. It was a very entertaining movie, and I enjoyed it very much, but it is definitely an action movie (read: awesome action scenes, so-so story). The entire premise seemed to be, "Let's get as many stars together as we can, and then have them beat the shit out of each other!" but the fight scenes did not disappoint. As my roommate Liz said, it was "an interesting movie filled with badassery" - I walked out of the theater wishing I could be the lead character, Mallory, because she could hold her own, your own, plus your next door neighbor's own and still be able to punch you in the kidneys. Plus, Antonio Banderas, Ewan MacGregor, Channing Tatum and Michael Fassbender are just ATTRACTIVE. There is no way around it (those who also made appearances: Michael Douglas, Bill Paxton, and the kid from Sky High...Michael Angarano?).
So, I'm trying something new for my next post: is there anything you would like to see me talk about? Leave a comment and let me know what you want to read!
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Bettering Myself as a Nerd
I am so excited, I have to tell you guys what I just bought at Barnes & Noble! First, though, I have to confess something. As devoted as I am to the Marvel movies (May 4th, baby!! So stoked!) I have not read very many of the comic books, and none of the originals. I get all of my comic knowledge from my cousin and brother, both of whom have PLENTY to spare. I have always thought of this as something that needed to be fixed, but never had a very good opportunity to do so. (Side Note: if anyone finds/has the Marvel Civil War comics, I would love you forever if you somehow got them to me!)
So, with this in mind, I am very excited to announce that I have discovered the Marvel Masterworks collections, and I happened to wander upon them at a time when I had excess Christmas money! Though they are not original printings, I now own the first ten issues of X-Men!!! I am so excited to start reading these, I don't think you can even understand.
Now for my second very exciting purchase of the evening, which also has a story behind it. Leading up to Christmas, a group of people at work participated in Secret Santa. Pedro was part of this, and one day his Secret Santa gave him a Thor bobble-head. It. was. awesome. He has since collected The Incredible Hulk, Captain America and Iron Man to complete his Avengers set (honestly, I'm fairly jealous. I want these so bad!)
Meanwhile, in my apartment, we have a small shelf above the kitchen sink, built with the intention of holding paper towels. However, one of my roommates (let's call her Kris) is too short to reach this shelf, so it mostly just sits empty. Sometime last week, Kris and I decided that we needed a knickknack to put on that shelf so that we had some decoration, and it was no longer empty. We decided we wanted a bobble-head, but didn't know which franchise we wanted, or which character we wanted.
And now I come to my story. (Have you picked up on where I'm going with this yet?) While at B&N, I found STAR WARS BOBBLE-HEADS!! They had Yoda, Chewbacca, and Leia (Darth Vader, Luke, Obi-Wan, C-3PO, Greedo, Bobba Fett, Darth Maul, Storm Trooper and Gamorrean Guard are also available). And though Yoda was very adorable (he will be my second addition to this collection) and Chewie will be the third purchase, for the first one I had to buy Leia! She is now on display in our kitchen, above the sink. It makes me very very happy.
So, with this in mind, I am very excited to announce that I have discovered the Marvel Masterworks collections, and I happened to wander upon them at a time when I had excess Christmas money! Though they are not original printings, I now own the first ten issues of X-Men!!! I am so excited to start reading these, I don't think you can even understand.
Now for my second very exciting purchase of the evening, which also has a story behind it. Leading up to Christmas, a group of people at work participated in Secret Santa. Pedro was part of this, and one day his Secret Santa gave him a Thor bobble-head. It. was. awesome. He has since collected The Incredible Hulk, Captain America and Iron Man to complete his Avengers set (honestly, I'm fairly jealous. I want these so bad!)
Meanwhile, in my apartment, we have a small shelf above the kitchen sink, built with the intention of holding paper towels. However, one of my roommates (let's call her Kris) is too short to reach this shelf, so it mostly just sits empty. Sometime last week, Kris and I decided that we needed a knickknack to put on that shelf so that we had some decoration, and it was no longer empty. We decided we wanted a bobble-head, but didn't know which franchise we wanted, or which character we wanted.
And now I come to my story. (Have you picked up on where I'm going with this yet?) While at B&N, I found STAR WARS BOBBLE-HEADS!! They had Yoda, Chewbacca, and Leia (Darth Vader, Luke, Obi-Wan, C-3PO, Greedo, Bobba Fett, Darth Maul, Storm Trooper and Gamorrean Guard are also available). And though Yoda was very adorable (he will be my second addition to this collection) and Chewie will be the third purchase, for the first one I had to buy Leia! She is now on display in our kitchen, above the sink. It makes me very very happy.
Friday, January 13, 2012
Money, Money, Money (or lack thereof)
Why doesn't being a Nerdy FanGirl pay? Ok, correction, it can (i.e. Felicia Day, Chris Hardwick, etc). But what I want to do is not something for which I can simply send in a job application. YouTube will pay you - Charlie McDonnell (charlieissocoollike) and Alex Day (nerimon) just bought a house from their earnings - but you have to have a certain, very high, number of subscribers. Blogging can pay you, but only if you put Google AdSense (or some equivalent) on your site. Web series don't pay you.
And I made the very dumb decision to go to a private university. Now, don't misunderstand me. I do not regret college in anyway. Though I am not proud of every moment, and sometimes wish I had made a few choices differently, I don't actually regret anything. Those four years have shaped who I am, and made me more confident and sure of myself as a person. I just wish I had gone to the public school attached to the theatre department instead of the private university. Nothing would have been different, except that I would have MUCH SMALLER student loans.
So, the predicament I find myself in now is paying off very large student loans on very small paychecks. Fortunately, I believe I can defer payment until this internship is over, and I get settled in Georgia. But even there, I will be making as much or less than what I make right now. And I will have to pay rent there, which I don't here (housing is included in my contract).
The point I'm trying to make is that I will be stuck working jobs that I do not necessarily want to have a future in - in other words, they're not what I want to do with my life - because what I do want to have a future in does not pay me yet. And I have some very real, very depressing, obligations coming due.
Growing up sucks.
And I made the very dumb decision to go to a private university. Now, don't misunderstand me. I do not regret college in anyway. Though I am not proud of every moment, and sometimes wish I had made a few choices differently, I don't actually regret anything. Those four years have shaped who I am, and made me more confident and sure of myself as a person. I just wish I had gone to the public school attached to the theatre department instead of the private university. Nothing would have been different, except that I would have MUCH SMALLER student loans.
So, the predicament I find myself in now is paying off very large student loans on very small paychecks. Fortunately, I believe I can defer payment until this internship is over, and I get settled in Georgia. But even there, I will be making as much or less than what I make right now. And I will have to pay rent there, which I don't here (housing is included in my contract).
The point I'm trying to make is that I will be stuck working jobs that I do not necessarily want to have a future in - in other words, they're not what I want to do with my life - because what I do want to have a future in does not pay me yet. And I have some very real, very depressing, obligations coming due.
Growing up sucks.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Twisting the Knife
Twisting the Knife: this is an expression that one of my best friends and I came up with one night after an especially distressing episode of Buffy. We decided that Joss Whedon enjoys stabbing you in the heart, and then twisting the knife just a little bit because that initial stab just wasn't enough.
As a self-proclaimed Nerdy FanGirl, I get very invested in the shows, movies, and books I watch/read. While this provides massively entertaining experiences for me, it also causes the heartbreak the characters experience, to be my experience as well. THERE ARE SPOILERS BELOW (for Whedon's work, at least), but there are a few shows I have to use as examples.
Primarily, the works of Joss Whedon. I first discovered how affected I can be by television when, at the end of season two, Buffy was forced to send Angel, the love of her life, to a hell dimension in order to save the world. I still cry whenever I watch that scene. One of my favorite things about Joss Whedon is how well he can write a death scene. Of course, at this point, I hope he can write them - they happen enough in his work!
Angel
For example, take the first season, when Doyle sacrifices himself so that Angel can continue saving the world. There's also the end of the fourth season when Angel sacrifices his only child - a son he wasn't even genetically supposed to have, and yet he magically does - by erasing his memories and giving him to a loving, normal family because Connor has become so mentally disturbed by his upbringing that he is going to destroy himself, his maternal figure, and several innocent people.
The fifth season of this show has a couple "twisting the knife" moments. At the end of season four, Cordelia had fallen into a coma as a result of Connor's actions (and because Charisma Carpenter was leaving to have a baby and be a mom) but everyone wanted closure with her character. So, for the show's One Hundredth episode in season five, Charisma came back for a single episode so that Cordelia could help Angel out of the moral mess in which he found himself. Everything was perfect, and Angel and Cordelia were finally together at last, right? WRONG. In perfect Joss fashion, we find out that Cordelia never actually woke up - the Powers That Be allowed her spirit to take corporeal form in order to help Angel - and she died while still in the coma. And that was not even the worst part of season five.
The most heart wrenching, gut twisting moment of the series is when a minor character who works with Fred in the lab, Knox, chooses her to be the vessel for his demon-god, Illyria. Knox has Illyria's sarcophagus delivered to the lab and Fred accidentally inhales Ancient-God-Dust, then she goes through a terrible sickness as Illyria literally burns away Fred's internal organs in order to make room for herself. AND THEN FRED DIES CRYING, COUGHING AND BARELY ABLE TO BREATHE. One of the most beloved characters on the show, and it is the most prolonged, horrible death in the series. What's even more emotionally distressing is that the actress, Amy Acker, does not leave the show - she becomes Illyria, forcing the characters and the audience to see a bastardized version of Fred every single day/week!
And in the series finale? Joss goes on a KILLING SPREE! It's awful! A character who has been with the 'verse since Buffy, Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, dies - almost unnecessarily. Gunn is shown with horrible vampire wounds, and the implication that he will not survive another hour. Spike is battered and bruised, and Angel has already been through a major fight. The camera pans to show a massive army invading downtown LA - turns out they still have an even larger, more epic battle ahead of them!
Firefly and Serenity
Everyone actually survives the tv show, miraculously. Though there are definitely emotional moments (especially with Simon-and-Kaylee and Mal-and-Inara) but the series only lasted less than a season, so Joss had very little time to kill anyone off. Perhaps the most heart wrenching episode of the series is the one entitled "The Message," where Mal and Zoe receive the body of an old war buddy of theirs (played by the same guy who played Knox on Angel, fun fact). By the time they were filming this episode, they already knew that they were going to be cancelled, so it seems to have been filmed as a goodbye letter to the fans. But the only one who dies in this episode is the war buddy (who wasn't actually dead when they got his body, but ended up getting killed later. Oops!)
The movie, however, is a different story. The beloved preacher, Shepherd Book, has left the ship and is living in a place called "Haven" - safe, right? Except that he and his entire community are brutally murdered because they allow the crew of Serenity to rest and hide there. He is still alive when they find him, but dies in Mal's arms before Simon can help him.
I could pull examples from every single work of Joss Whedon's - like when Paul Ballard is pointlessly shot by a NoName character, or when the shrapnel from the Death Ray explosion accidentally kills Penny - but I think I have made my point. Joss is an EXPERT at killing characters off, and making you "feel feelings" as Pedro would say. The bad thing is, I find myself emotionally invested in most shows I watch.
Supernatural makes me full on, tears streaming down my face, bawl my f*ing eyes out at least once a season, if not more. I can't give you every example unless you want this entry to be twice as long, but suffice it to say that they are very very good at killing off beloved characters.
Doctor Who doesn't always provide opportunities for me to cry (not that I'm complaining at all) but I have to admit that I will shed a tear every single time I watch the Tenth Doctor say goodbye to all of his companions and then finally regenerate in "End of Time: Part Two."
Also, the Eleventh Doctor seems to have more melodrama going on than his previous two modern counterparts (I blame Amy and, to a certain extent, Rory for this). Sure, there was the Will-They-Won't-They with Rose, and Martha's unrequited love, but during Matt Smith's era we see Amy torn between Rory and the Doctor, and I don't think anything tops the River Song drama - that one is straight from a daytime soap.
The Vampire Diaries doesn't kill off so many characters, but they are first class at building and destroying personal relationships, and aren't afraid to threaten your favorite character. The turmoil on this show causes me to go through an emotional rollercoaster every. single. week. It's kind of ridiculous.
And recently, a British show I discovered on Hulu called Misfits. I have to be careful here, because I don't want to spoil anything, but somebody dies almost every week. It's usually not a main character, but you never know. And they are good at writing the personal relationships, as well as "Next time on..." trailers. Talk about an emotional rollercoaster......
As a self-proclaimed Nerdy FanGirl, I get very invested in the shows, movies, and books I watch/read. While this provides massively entertaining experiences for me, it also causes the heartbreak the characters experience, to be my experience as well. THERE ARE SPOILERS BELOW (for Whedon's work, at least), but there are a few shows I have to use as examples.
Primarily, the works of Joss Whedon. I first discovered how affected I can be by television when, at the end of season two, Buffy was forced to send Angel, the love of her life, to a hell dimension in order to save the world. I still cry whenever I watch that scene. One of my favorite things about Joss Whedon is how well he can write a death scene. Of course, at this point, I hope he can write them - they happen enough in his work!
Angel
For example, take the first season, when Doyle sacrifices himself so that Angel can continue saving the world. There's also the end of the fourth season when Angel sacrifices his only child - a son he wasn't even genetically supposed to have, and yet he magically does - by erasing his memories and giving him to a loving, normal family because Connor has become so mentally disturbed by his upbringing that he is going to destroy himself, his maternal figure, and several innocent people.
The fifth season of this show has a couple "twisting the knife" moments. At the end of season four, Cordelia had fallen into a coma as a result of Connor's actions (and because Charisma Carpenter was leaving to have a baby and be a mom) but everyone wanted closure with her character. So, for the show's One Hundredth episode in season five, Charisma came back for a single episode so that Cordelia could help Angel out of the moral mess in which he found himself. Everything was perfect, and Angel and Cordelia were finally together at last, right? WRONG. In perfect Joss fashion, we find out that Cordelia never actually woke up - the Powers That Be allowed her spirit to take corporeal form in order to help Angel - and she died while still in the coma. And that was not even the worst part of season five.
The most heart wrenching, gut twisting moment of the series is when a minor character who works with Fred in the lab, Knox, chooses her to be the vessel for his demon-god, Illyria. Knox has Illyria's sarcophagus delivered to the lab and Fred accidentally inhales Ancient-God-Dust, then she goes through a terrible sickness as Illyria literally burns away Fred's internal organs in order to make room for herself. AND THEN FRED DIES CRYING, COUGHING AND BARELY ABLE TO BREATHE. One of the most beloved characters on the show, and it is the most prolonged, horrible death in the series. What's even more emotionally distressing is that the actress, Amy Acker, does not leave the show - she becomes Illyria, forcing the characters and the audience to see a bastardized version of Fred every single day/week!
And in the series finale? Joss goes on a KILLING SPREE! It's awful! A character who has been with the 'verse since Buffy, Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, dies - almost unnecessarily. Gunn is shown with horrible vampire wounds, and the implication that he will not survive another hour. Spike is battered and bruised, and Angel has already been through a major fight. The camera pans to show a massive army invading downtown LA - turns out they still have an even larger, more epic battle ahead of them!
Firefly and Serenity
Everyone actually survives the tv show, miraculously. Though there are definitely emotional moments (especially with Simon-and-Kaylee and Mal-and-Inara) but the series only lasted less than a season, so Joss had very little time to kill anyone off. Perhaps the most heart wrenching episode of the series is the one entitled "The Message," where Mal and Zoe receive the body of an old war buddy of theirs (played by the same guy who played Knox on Angel, fun fact). By the time they were filming this episode, they already knew that they were going to be cancelled, so it seems to have been filmed as a goodbye letter to the fans. But the only one who dies in this episode is the war buddy (who wasn't actually dead when they got his body, but ended up getting killed later. Oops!)
The movie, however, is a different story. The beloved preacher, Shepherd Book, has left the ship and is living in a place called "Haven" - safe, right? Except that he and his entire community are brutally murdered because they allow the crew of Serenity to rest and hide there. He is still alive when they find him, but dies in Mal's arms before Simon can help him.
As if that is not sad enough, later in the movie, they are running from Alliance and Reavers alike, and make a risky crash landing into a landing bay with a Reaver ship right behind them. There is some jostling and they are spun 180 degrees, but they land safely. They have just breathed a sigh of relief - Wash is in the middle of saying that he is "a leaf on the wind, watch how [he soars]" - when a giant spear-looking projectile breaks through the front window and stabs straight through Wash AND his chair, KILLING HIM INSTANTLY. This death is worse than Fred's in Angel, because it happens so quickly and unexpectedly that I was thrown into a state of shock. I could not believe that one of my favorite characters on the show could be gone in less than a single second.
And then there is a poignant scene near the very end of the movie when they are paying their respects at grave markers, and we are forced to deal with Book and Wash's deaths all over again.I could pull examples from every single work of Joss Whedon's - like when Paul Ballard is pointlessly shot by a NoName character, or when the shrapnel from the Death Ray explosion accidentally kills Penny - but I think I have made my point. Joss is an EXPERT at killing characters off, and making you "feel feelings" as Pedro would say. The bad thing is, I find myself emotionally invested in most shows I watch.
Supernatural makes me full on, tears streaming down my face, bawl my f*ing eyes out at least once a season, if not more. I can't give you every example unless you want this entry to be twice as long, but suffice it to say that they are very very good at killing off beloved characters.
Doctor Who doesn't always provide opportunities for me to cry (not that I'm complaining at all) but I have to admit that I will shed a tear every single time I watch the Tenth Doctor say goodbye to all of his companions and then finally regenerate in "End of Time: Part Two."
Also, the Eleventh Doctor seems to have more melodrama going on than his previous two modern counterparts (I blame Amy and, to a certain extent, Rory for this). Sure, there was the Will-They-Won't-They with Rose, and Martha's unrequited love, but during Matt Smith's era we see Amy torn between Rory and the Doctor, and I don't think anything tops the River Song drama - that one is straight from a daytime soap.
The Vampire Diaries doesn't kill off so many characters, but they are first class at building and destroying personal relationships, and aren't afraid to threaten your favorite character. The turmoil on this show causes me to go through an emotional rollercoaster every. single. week. It's kind of ridiculous.
And recently, a British show I discovered on Hulu called Misfits. I have to be careful here, because I don't want to spoil anything, but somebody dies almost every week. It's usually not a main character, but you never know. And they are good at writing the personal relationships, as well as "Next time on..." trailers. Talk about an emotional rollercoaster......
Monday, January 9, 2012
I MADE A CAKE!! ...well, I want to.
...well, my friend - let's call him Pedro - made it. I actually kind of suck in the kitchen. But he let me help, and then annoyingly take pictures of the process!
Swirling the fudge marble cake mix!
The cake is done baking!
(The holes are from when we I checked it to see if it really was done)
Spreading the icing on! And yes, that's funfetti on the stove :)
The finished product!
So tasty!!
So, with this project, Pedro did most/all of the work. I was just an extra set of hands, but I do want to start baking more. Well, cooking in general would be nice, but specifically baking. Which really won't help SugarWatch 2012 (as one of my roommates calls it) but might help with the fulfillment I've been looking for. I've always kind of enjoyed baking, I'm just not good at it. I may pick it up and keep you guys updated on my successes and inevitable failures.
SO! I need ideas! What would you guys want to see first?
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Creative Fulfillment
I finally figured out why my thoughts are stuck in Georgia (and not here in Arkansas, enjoying what I will be losing when I move in just under six months)...and it's not because it's Georgia. I mean, seriously, it's Georgia- I plan on staying there only as long as I have to.
Don't get me wrong; Atlanta is "MY" city, and I will always be a Georgia Girl. As long as I live, I will proudly profess that I grew up in Georgia for the first (almost) 22 years of my life. But thinking about what I'm doing, moving to a town 2 hours north of where I was born, and working in a financial company and/or a movie theater, scares me. It literally terrifies me. I don't want to be that person who, at her 20th Reunion, has to say "Oh, yeah, I'm still here, but it looks like I'm going to be promoted to Upper Management at Burger King, so that's exciting!" That's not what I went to school for. Technically, I went to school for theatre, and that is why I am in Arkansas now. I have a job with a professional theatre, doing exactly what I went to school for. BUT I NEED A BREAK. Hence the moving back to Georgia and working at a movie theater for a while, and hence the panic about my future.
But it's because I can feel myself slowly burning out, that I keep thinking about Georgia. I don't feel fulfilled in my current job, and because I am feeling that at a job which is exactly what I should have taken after I graduated, I am planning a future away from theatre. Maybe. I am not completely cutting theatre out of my life, because I have strayed before, and I almost immediately needed to get back into the shop and backstage. So I know there is some passion for the art in me; I remember it from school. But for now, I need to find something that is going to make me feel fulfilled, and theatre isn't doing that for me anymore.
I'm not saying working at a movie theater will do that either, though that is a bit closer to the industry I would like to have a future in. But working in a movie theater (and not in live theatre) will give me the time to work on projects which will fulfill me, even if they don't exactly pay me.
I already have a channel on YouTube with a corresponding Twitter account. I'm not able to do very much with these yet, because I don't have adequate equipment for filming videos, and even with the crappy camera I do have, my current job gives me almost zero time to work on editing a video. So once I move back to Georgia, I plan on dedicating more time to this project, because I would really like to see it grow.
But why Georgia? I want to travel - I want to live somewhere else, maybe North Carolina or Virginia, or somewhere in the Northeast. But my best friend and collaborator currently has a life set up in Georgia (she still lives in her hometown as well), and has resources already in place for my next fulfilling project; a webseries.
We are going to write and produce, as well as star in, a fanfic webseries. And she knows the people and the locations we need - all of which are in Georgia - and it would be much harder to film the webseries in a place we don't know as well. There are other, more mundane reasons for me to move back to Georgia having to do with future financial obligations that I'm not going to get into, but the reasons above are the main ones.
So, even though I have a very sweet setup at my current job, and I honestly could not have asked for a better First-Year-Out-Of-College, my brain is stuck back in Georgia (making me feel like I'm stuck in the past, though I am slowly realizing that's not actually the case) because that is my most likely chance of feeling fulfilled in my life.
Don't get me wrong; Atlanta is "MY" city, and I will always be a Georgia Girl. As long as I live, I will proudly profess that I grew up in Georgia for the first (almost) 22 years of my life. But thinking about what I'm doing, moving to a town 2 hours north of where I was born, and working in a financial company and/or a movie theater, scares me. It literally terrifies me. I don't want to be that person who, at her 20th Reunion, has to say "Oh, yeah, I'm still here, but it looks like I'm going to be promoted to Upper Management at Burger King, so that's exciting!" That's not what I went to school for. Technically, I went to school for theatre, and that is why I am in Arkansas now. I have a job with a professional theatre, doing exactly what I went to school for. BUT I NEED A BREAK. Hence the moving back to Georgia and working at a movie theater for a while, and hence the panic about my future.
But it's because I can feel myself slowly burning out, that I keep thinking about Georgia. I don't feel fulfilled in my current job, and because I am feeling that at a job which is exactly what I should have taken after I graduated, I am planning a future away from theatre. Maybe. I am not completely cutting theatre out of my life, because I have strayed before, and I almost immediately needed to get back into the shop and backstage. So I know there is some passion for the art in me; I remember it from school. But for now, I need to find something that is going to make me feel fulfilled, and theatre isn't doing that for me anymore.
I'm not saying working at a movie theater will do that either, though that is a bit closer to the industry I would like to have a future in. But working in a movie theater (and not in live theatre) will give me the time to work on projects which will fulfill me, even if they don't exactly pay me.
I already have a channel on YouTube with a corresponding Twitter account. I'm not able to do very much with these yet, because I don't have adequate equipment for filming videos, and even with the crappy camera I do have, my current job gives me almost zero time to work on editing a video. So once I move back to Georgia, I plan on dedicating more time to this project, because I would really like to see it grow.
But why Georgia? I want to travel - I want to live somewhere else, maybe North Carolina or Virginia, or somewhere in the Northeast. But my best friend and collaborator currently has a life set up in Georgia (she still lives in her hometown as well), and has resources already in place for my next fulfilling project; a webseries.
We are going to write and produce, as well as star in, a fanfic webseries. And she knows the people and the locations we need - all of which are in Georgia - and it would be much harder to film the webseries in a place we don't know as well. There are other, more mundane reasons for me to move back to Georgia having to do with future financial obligations that I'm not going to get into, but the reasons above are the main ones.
So, even though I have a very sweet setup at my current job, and I honestly could not have asked for a better First-Year-Out-Of-College, my brain is stuck back in Georgia (making me feel like I'm stuck in the past, though I am slowly realizing that's not actually the case) because that is my most likely chance of feeling fulfilled in my life.
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