Why doesn't being a Nerdy FanGirl pay? Ok, correction, it can (i.e. Felicia Day, Chris Hardwick, etc). But what I want to do is not something for which I can simply send in a job application. YouTube will pay you - Charlie McDonnell (charlieissocoollike) and Alex Day (nerimon) just bought a house from their earnings - but you have to have a certain, very high, number of subscribers. Blogging can pay you, but only if you put Google AdSense (or some equivalent) on your site. Web series don't pay you.
And I made the very dumb decision to go to a private university. Now, don't misunderstand me. I do not regret college in anyway. Though I am not proud of every moment, and sometimes wish I had made a few choices differently, I don't actually regret anything. Those four years have shaped who I am, and made me more confident and sure of myself as a person. I just wish I had gone to the public school attached to the theatre department instead of the private university. Nothing would have been different, except that I would have MUCH SMALLER student loans.
So, the predicament I find myself in now is paying off very large student loans on very small paychecks. Fortunately, I believe I can defer payment until this internship is over, and I get settled in Georgia. But even there, I will be making as much or less than what I make right now. And I will have to pay rent there, which I don't here (housing is included in my contract).
The point I'm trying to make is that I will be stuck working jobs that I do not necessarily want to have a future in - in other words, they're not what I want to do with my life - because what I do want to have a future in does not pay me yet. And I have some very real, very depressing, obligations coming due.
Growing up sucks.
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