Arbitrary Points are probably Pointless

First of all, I am sorry I have posted so sporadically lately. I've been in a weird funk, and I've pretty much only been focusing on work and watching Community. I've stopped reading Eldest, I've let my Hulu queue get backed up, and I haven't even been on this page in at least a week. I would like to say that I haven't been able to come up with very good material lately and would rather have quality than quantity, but really that's only a fraction of the reason. It's mostly the funk, which I can't explain because I don't know why I'm in it or how long it's going to last. Hopefully until I'm caught up with Community (just two more episodes before I'm ready for season 3.5!!) but I don't honestly know.

Anyway, while I felt I owed you an apology, that was not really the point of this post. I recently bought an iPod Touch and have been geeking out over all of the apps I can now use. Two of my favorites are 4square and GetGlue. They're total StalkerApps - you use 4square to check-in to the places you currently are (ie home, work, Walmart) and GetGlue is for checking into what you are currently watching/reading/listening to (ie Community, Eldest, The Nerdist) - but the more you check-in, the more points you earn. And the more points you earn, the more useless rewards you get! In 4square, you are competing against your friends to get to the top of the "Leaderboard" and each check-in is given a certain amount of point worth, based on how often you've been there, whether it's your first time, whether you're the first of your friends, et cetera. In GetGlue, you are attempting to earn stickers. There is a chain of stickers based on how many times you've checked into a single item (I am currently a "Superfan" - 15 check-ins - of Community) or whether there is a special episode of a show airing when you check-in to said show (I have a Limited Release Once Upon A Time sticker) and so on. It's incredibly addictive, even though they're super creepy and completely useless. Most of the time, it's really annoying to have notifications pop up because one of my friends just got home, or is watching Phineas and Ferb (Pedro, I'm totally calling you out on that one) but for some reason I can't stop and MUST BE THE TOP OF THE LEADERBOARD, WITH THE MOST STICKERS.

Is this a probably-bad-and-indicative-of-something quirk of mine, or is it some kind of weird Nerd personality trait? Does anyone else feel that compulsion to be the best at pointless iPhone/iPod/iPad apps?

Who the f*** am I??

I am under no delusion that this will be the last time I write a post like this; I am constantly trying to figure out who I am, and who I want to be. It seems like every time I think I have it figured out it is incomplete, or even (at times) flat out wrong. Here's what I know right now:

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1) I am incredibly nerdy; I love sci fi, and especially fantasy. I enjoy comic books, though my knowledge in this area is sadly lacking (though I am attempting to improve, even though I have approximately 14 years to catch up on).
B) I love the concepts of YouTube channels and podcasts, and want to figure out what talents/knowledge I have of value that I could share in one of these mediums. I've already experimented in YouTubing (you can find my channel at youtube.com/FanGirlNerd, but I haven't updated in a couple months, so it's not very interesting right now) and I want to figure out how to podcast with the limited equipment and budget I have at my disposal.
iii) I am interested in the film/tv industry, but don't want to deal with the studio politics, so am planning on doing it as a hobby/creating my own production company with my best friend. We currently have a webseries in the planning stage (you will definitely be hearing more on that starting this summer/fall, once I get back to Georgia) and I have ideas for more.

d) I am proud of my Southern United States upbringing (I'm a Georgia Peach and a proud G.R.I.T.S., y'all!) but will be going to the British Isles as soon as I can, and wish it was easier for an American to move over there. Since that is so difficult, I really am contemplating moving to Canada. I know, I know, that's just something Americans say when we're unhappy with how this country is going, but I really am getting so discouraged by our government and society (though, society does seem to be moving slowly up and getting mildly smarter) that I almost can't stand associating myself with them anymore.

V) Since high school, when I questioned my Christianity and eventually left the faith, I have not considered myself a religious person; I preferred to think of myself as spiritual. But I recently (as in, within the past week) realized that I'm not so much against religion as I am dogmatic religion. What I mean by that is, I strongly believe in a person's right to make his or her own choices in all aspects of his or her life (as long as s/he doesn't hurt anybody else), so I can't support a religion that has very specific and detailed instructions on how and when to worship the chosen deity. To me, worship is incredibly personal and private, and I can't believe that the higher power cares whether or not I'm with other worshipers (I won't go into the other issues I have with Christianity, since that's not what this post is about, and I don't want to upset or offend anybody - like I said, I'm all for you choosing to be Christian for yourself, just don't force me to be one). So, I am currently on a personal journey to find what makes me spiritually whole and complete.

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I'm sure there is more, but I don't feel like coming up with anymore, and you guys probably don't want to deal with a much longer list than that. What I'm getting at, though, is all five of those are pretty generic, vague aspects of my personality. They don't tell me what I want to do for a living, they don't give me a roadmap to the next twenty years, and they only partially tell me who I am. It doesn't help that I feel like my life is on pause while I'm in Arkansas; this job doesn't feel like a first step, but rather a detour. I am trying to enjoy it while I'm here, because I am incredibly fortunate and I have some great people in my life right now, but part of me is glad that I only have approximately five months until I am back in Georgia and moving my life forward (though, forward to where I don't know).

I do have plans for at least the next year, which will hopefully flourish into the next few years, and am excited to start the projects that I am planning right now. And don't worry; I will most likely bring you guys along with me as I grow and explore who I want to be when I grow up, since I want to use this blog as a way to document my process of becoming whoever the hell I'm going to become - hence the name, Trials of a Fan Girl. :D